This is not a pleasant thing to have to tell you. But it is one of the most important things Harbored can say, and we are saying it now — early — because the first weeks are when you are most vulnerable and when certain people know it.
Scammers target new widows. This is documented, widespread, and deeply predatory. It is not random. They watch obituaries. They search for death announcements. They compile lists. And they reach out in the weeks immediately after a loss because they know that grief reduces cognitive capacity, that loneliness creates openness, and that someone in shock is less likely to ask the questions they normally would.
Here is what to watch for:
Someone calls claiming to be from Social Security, Medicare, or another government agency, saying there is an urgent problem with your benefits or his account. The government does not call you. They send letters. If someone calls claiming to be from the SSA, hang up and call Social Security directly at 1-800-772-1213.
Someone contacts you about a debt your husband supposedly owed that must be paid immediately. You are not automatically responsible for his individual debts. Do not pay anything without consulting an attorney first.
Someone reaches out on social media or email — sometimes posing as a distant acquaintance or even a stranger expressing condolences — who gradually builds a relationship over days or weeks before eventually asking for money. This is called a sweetheart scam and it is devastatingly effective precisely because it exploits loneliness and the need for connection that grief creates.
A financial advisor you have never met contacts you unsolicited with urgent advice about his accounts.
**The simple rule:** You do not have to respond to anything urgently. Legitimate institutions send letters with deadlines that give you time to consult someone. Anyone creating artificial urgency — pay this today, decide now, this offer expires tonight — is not acting in your interest.
Keep a trusted person informed of any unexpected contacts. You do not have to navigate this alone, and you do not have to be embarrassed to ask someone to sit with you while you review something.
You are allowed to hang up. You are allowed to say I need to consult someone first. You are allowed to take your time.
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