This is the gentlest list we know how to write.
You are in the first days after something sudden and enormous, and the world is already coming at you — decisions, phone calls, people, paperwork, logistics. This list is not meant to add to that weight. It is meant to narrow the field: here is what truly must happen in the next 72 hours, and everything else can wait.
**Make one decision about care for yourself.** Who will be with you tonight? Who will bring food? Who will sit on the phone with you? Identify one person who can be your point of contact for the next few days — someone who can manage the incoming flow of calls and messages so you do not have to.
**Contact a funeral home.** This is the one logistical task that genuinely cannot be deferred. The funeral home will guide you through the immediate decisions and handle the arrangements. You do not need to have any other decisions made before this call.
**Tell only who you need to tell right now.** His immediate family. Your immediate family. His employer, if only to say there has been a death and you will be in touch. You do not have to notify the whole world in the first 72 hours.
**Do not make any financial decisions.** Not one. This is not the time. Anyone suggesting otherwise does not have your best interests in mind.
**If there are minor children:** make sure they are cared for, informed at a level appropriate to their age, and surrounded by familiar people. Children need routine and stability as much as possible in the immediate aftermath.
**If you are in shock:** that is a normal response to sudden loss. If at any point you are concerned about your safety or the safety of anyone around you, please call 988. It is there for exactly this.
The next 72 hours are about survival. That is the only task.
---